Brasil

I found this on the internet and stuck in it a translator, soo it doesn't really make sense. Maybe when I have more time I will edit it and fix it? I love this so much because it's so darn true. 

In a fun and humorous Olivier lists 65 points that caught his attention since he lives in Brazil.

The words quickly circulated the internet. And have been seen by over 15 thousand people.

Check the points listed by Olivier on his Blog:

-Here are some of my observations, sometimes a bit exaggerated, about Brazil. Nothing serious.

-Here in Brazil, everything is organized in queue: queue to pay, to request queue, the queue to enter, leave to queue and wait queue to the next queue. And two people already suffice to form a queue.

-Here in Brazil, begins the year "after Carnival."

-Here in Brazil, you can not touch the food with their hands. In MacDonalds hamburger is eaten within a napkin. Every table bar, restaurant or coffee shop has a dispenser napkins and toothpicks. But these napkins are almost plastic, nothing soft or nice. The goal is not to clean your hands or your mouth but is picking up the food with your hands without leaving paper or in food or hands.

-Here in Brazil all is gay (or 'queer'). Drinking tea: gay. Request a coca zero: is gay. Play Volleyball: is gay. Drinking wine: is gay. Not liking football: is gay. Being French: gay, be gaucho: gay, be miner: gay. Pay attention to how to dress: is gay. Not to mention something and gay: it is also gay.

-Here in Brazil, men can not do anything of the tasks of everyday life: faxinar not know or use a washing machine. Do not know how to cook, nor the level of survival: making rice or pasta. They can not fix a shirt button. We also do not know the things that are considered as extremely masculine out how to change a car wheel. I was really created in another world ...

-Here in Brazil, exterior signs of wealth are very common: imported cars, expensive restaurants in chic neighborhoods, clubs whose selective quotas reach stratospheric values.

-Here in Brazil, couples sit beside each other in bars and restaurants as if they were inside a car.

-Here in Brazil, men dress badly in general or do not care. Shoes are used to run the day to day, leaving short, shirt and slippers and any common. Common is also leave sports clothes but with no intention of practicing sport. If dressing well is also kind of gay.

-Here in Brazil, the client does not ask for beer pro waiter, the waiter brings the beer anyway.

-Here in Brazil, everyone is rooting for a team, from near or far.

-Here in Brazil, always a priest talking on television or radio.

-Here in Brazil, life goes slowly. It's normal to be stuck in traffic all day. But do not sleep on the semaphore. Ai has to be quick and get out even before the lights go green. No depends if you have many people behind, or if they are late. It is also normal to be 10 minutes in line at the supermarket though it has only one person in front of you. Ai takes to pass the articles, and often the person has to enter the cash bar codes on hand to help or ask another employee to find the price of an item. But when you remove the credit card, there has to be fast. No joke, if not remove the card when the same girl in the box that took 10 minutes to 10 articles will talk to you aggressively expedite "can remove the card."

-Here in Brazil, the Chinese are Japanese.

-Here in Brazil, music is part of life. Any place has live music. Many Brazilians know guitar though they do not consider that touch to ask for them. It has talented musicians, but not many of them play the songs. Bars are full of cover bands.

-Here in Brazil, the policy does not work only in dimension left - right. Brazil is a country in various aspects of left and right in others. For example, you can lose your job from one day to another almost without warning. There's a huge difference between the poor and the rich. Earn twenty times the minimum wage is quite common, and earn the minimum wage further. Children from middle class or studying high in almost all private schools, the churches have a major impact on policy decisions. And on the other hand, there is a public health system, the state has many businesses, has many civil servants have enough help to eradicate poverty in the less developed regions of the country. The same government is a mixture of conservative, liberal and socialist.

-Here in Brazil, and the common know someone, have a chat, say "I'll see you, let's hang out, okay?", without exchanging numbers.

-Here in Brazil, the word "appears" generally means "does not appear." Example: "I will come later" means in practice "no I will not."

-Here in Brazil, the climate is very good. Have enough sun, not this cold, all the conditions are met in order to enjoy outside activities. However, Sundays, if you want to find a living soul in the middle of the afternoon, gotta go shopping. The streets are the flies, but the mall is crowded. Shopping is the most boring thing in Brazil.

-Here in Brazil, the soap operas is more important than cinema. But the national cinema is good.

-Here in Brazil, not lack of space. They say the country has continental dimensions. And it is true, would fit for all humanity in Brazil. But then if you have so much space, why the garages of the buildings are so close? Why is there even the vague concept of prey?

-Here in Brazil, salty food is very salty food and sweet is very sweet. 

-Here in Brazil, produces the best coffee in the world and in large quantities. A pity that generally poorly prepared and full of sugar.

-Here in Brazil, beautiful beaches abound. However, most of all Brazilians traveling to the same beaches, Búzios, Porto de Galinhas, Jericoacoara, etc..

-Here in Brazil, football is religion and almost every team a chapel.

-Here in Brazil, people think misdirect have traffic, works late, corruption, bureaucracy, lack of education, specifically concepts are Brazilians. But I've never been in a country where people drive well, where traffic never has, where the work ends on schedule, where corruption is only a theory, which has no paperwork for everything and where everything is well educated world!

-Here in Brazil, the sports are gym or football. A pity that only Olympic football is.

-Here in Brazil, do not be alarmed if you are invited to a birthday party two years of a child. Will have more adults than children, and more beer than orange juice. Also do not be surprised if more like a coronation than a Roman emperor as the two-year anniversary. And 'normal'.

-Here in Brazil, has the concept of meal with starter, main course, cheese and dessert separated. In general, it makes a dish with everything: vegetables, meat, cheese, rice and beans. Dai always ends up eating a mixture of all.

-Here in Brazil, the God is very present ... at least in the language: 'vai with God', 'God willing', 'God forbid', 'oh my God', 'thank God', 'the love of God '. Glad he is Brazilian.

-Here in Brazil, every time I hear the word 'Blitz', I get the impression that Germany will invade again. Reminiscent of the French collective consciousness ...

-Here in Brazil, a lot of parents with Italian ancestry, has a law called 'the law of silence'. That bad taste! Looks like it forgot that in Italy, the law of silence (also called "omerta") refers to a practice of mafia who avenges people who expose their criminal activities.

-Here in Brazil, if you think all kinds of names, and names many Americans Brazilianized: Gilson, Rickson, Denilson, Maicon, etc..

-Here in Brazil, when you buy must negotiate.

-Here in Brazil, men hug too. But it's not just a hug, if hugs, touched her shoulders, stomach or back. But never kisses. This is also gay.

-Here in Brazil, the thumbs-up sign to all is: "Okay?", "Thank you", "sorry."

-Here in Brazil, when a movie is on television, does not pass once. If you lose you can rest assured that it will pass over a dozen other times in the coming days. So I've seen "Hitch" four times without any want to attend.

-Here in Brazil, has a strange way of speaking very common things. For example, when you find someone, you can say "good morning," but also says "and there?". And then what? Sounds like a sentence aborted. A correct answer and the common "thank you" and "Imagine". Imagine that? Maybe I who lack imagination.

-Here in Brazil, everyone likes popcorn and hot dogs. I do not understand.

-Here in Brazil, when you have something to say, it is good to notice that vai speak before speaking. So much is heard: "I'll tell you something", "lets tell you something", "is as follows," and even my favorite: "look at you to see." Thanks for letting me know, I had forgotten that had eyes.

-Here in Brazil, the shops, businesses and places always find a way to sell yourself as the best. I've eaten at in several 'best buffet in town' in the same city. Another overactive of chutzpah is 'the largest in Latin America'. Do not coast anything and nobody will go check.

-Here in Brazil, has an ambiguous relationship with asymmetric and Latin America. The culture of the rest of Latin America does not enter Brazil, but the Brazilian culture is exported it. Few Brazilians know that Argentinian or Colombian artists, few Brazilians who go on vacation in Latin America (except Buenos Aires or Machu Pichu), but they generally visited more European countries than me. The Brazil sometimes seems like a giant island in Latin America, although it shares a border with almost every other country on the continent.

-Here in Brazil, relationships are coded and each step has a label: peguete, signifier, girlfriend, fiancee, wife (ex-wife ...). Love with labels.

-Here in Brazil, is the food: rice, beans and anything else.

-Here in Brazil, people are very receptive. And naturally embrace someone new in your group of friends. That makes the biggest difference in the world. Thank Brazilians.

-Here in Brazil, the Brazilians believe little in Brazil. Things can not operate fully or go right, because here it is, it is Brazil. There's a general feeling of inferiority that is striking. Mainly about the United States. To awaiting the day when Brazil will open your eyes.

-Here in Brazil, occasionally appears in a French word vocabulary. For example 'petit gateau'. But to be understood, these words have to speak with the local accent. It makes sense but it's still weird.

-Here in Brazil, has an organization called the DMV. Not not wanna talk about it, would not know where to start ...

-Here in Brazil, in cars, always have a bag of fabric in the shift lever to put the garbage.

-Here in Brazil, the Brazilians brush their teeth in the office after lunch.

-Here in Brazil, clean up the floor with this type of alcohol that looks like a jelly.

-Here in Brazil, the digital version of 'queuing up' and 'enter codes'. At the bank, to draw money has two codes. At the supermarket, the bar code reader being Malfunctioning have to enter the product codes. But the better the pay slips to the internet: some 50 digits. Always have to miss at least one. Delay.

-Here in Brazil, the system always ta "off the air". Any system, especially the payment terminals credit card.

-Here in Brazil, is a place called the notary. Great invention to be stolen right and lose his time for hours for tasks like certifying a copy (not the employee will look), the check that his firm is his firm.

-Here in Brazil, it seems that the profession where people are happier is garbage. They are always excited, chasing the truck like a track carnival. They are also athletes. You have the energy to run, throw the bags, scream, and even talk to women passing on the street.

-Here in Brazil, you can ask half the pizza taste and half of another. Simple and brilliant idea.

-Here in Brazil, has hot water in homes. Dai has one very smart system that is the shower that heats the water. It just takes one however. Or have hot water or have a good debt. It's not because they choose to have both.

-Here in Brazil, people leave the parental home when they marry. So have plenty of people 30 years and older living with their parents.

-Here in Brazil, has three words for cassava: cassava, cassava and cassava. La frank neither exists in cassava.

-Here in Brazil, has the phone number has an area code and also a number of carrier. An added complication that can turn the most confusion.

-Here in Brazil, when meeting with a person speaking: "Beauty?" And the answer may be "Gem". Translating into another language, it appears that makes little sense, or seems a dialogue between the Dalai Lama and his disciple. For example in English: "The beauty? - The joy. " Like a duel of philosophical abstract concepts.

-Here in Brazil, where the faucet drips.

-Here in Brazil, taxi, never pay what is written. Or approaches you up or down.

-Here in Brazil, make an appointment at 20:00 means 21:00 or later. Especially if you have many people involved.

-Here in Belo Horizonte, and the smallest big city in the world. 5 million people, but everybody knows everybody. So who says that BH is an egg. I'd say it's a fried egg. So is most Miner.

Sensational, simple things that we do not even notice.